


running out of options

by ayebydan



Series: a matter of protocol [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Baby, Gen, Han Solo's A plus parenting, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Leia Organa's A plus parenting, Pregnant Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayebydan/pseuds/ayebydan
Summary: A pregnant Kylo wonders what he will do with the child. Snoke cannot know but he cannot handle the idea of handing the baby to Rey or the child having the childhood he did.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: a matter of protocol [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610233
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	running out of options

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this would be longer but seems my brain was like 'protocol verse...we stops at 500ish' 
> 
> Can stand alone.
> 
> * I am aware that young Ben Solo's actions as a child were alarming and led to Leia sending him to Luke. I am also aware that Snoke was already influencing him and therefore his choices were not truly his own but my Kylo/Ben does not KNOW that. So, keep that in mind.

Kylo paces his sleeping quarters and tries to get his mind in some sort of order. Though he has wished for years to impress his Supreme Leader there is still a large part of him that fears the other being. There is no doubt that the child growing within him can only reach a bad end in Snoke's hands. They will become some sort of Force experiment and Kylo finds he does not want that. He _chose_ to go to Snoke. He _chose_ behaviours that led to his parents sending him away. This child has done nothing but appear. It is innocent.

_Innocent._

Not a word he ponders on often. 

Something in the back of his mind snarls that is not enough because how many has he slain that were innocent? But this is _his_ child. His and Rey's. Rey who never leaves his mind for long because she mesmerises him. She was just a girl from Jakku and yet she bested him in combat and then more. 

The child.

Rumours were one thing but the only other child he feels he knows for certain has been created by the force was his own grandfather. This child had two parents though. Something about the life he feels growing within just whispers of Rey. He knows this is not like Shmi. This child has two parents. 

But this child _can't_ have two parents. He is Snoke's right hand and she...well, she seems to be becoming his mother's. The child is not safe with him but Kylo will be damned if he hands it over to her. Part of it is sheer jealousy at the idea that she might take what it is but an alarming amount of it, at least in his eyes, is his growing affection for the baby.

As a child himself Kylo had always felt so alone. Well, that is not accurate. _Ben_ had been alone. Ben was misunderstood by his father and feared by his mother and spent years being shunted from one overly tight smile to the next. 

_'I'm sure they will be back soon, Ben.'_.

It was always lies and Kylo's stomach rolls at the idea that his child might face the same empty words. _He_ would never allow that to happen but it does not matter how many times he crisscrosses his quarters he fails to find a way where he can keep them. Raise them. Love them. He is not entirely sure that he is even capable of such emotions anymore outside of the almost alien pull he feels towards the child even now as it grows. But cold resistance bases and ships fleeing conflicts is no place for a baby either. 

It ruined him. 

There is adoption but even if Kylo found the perfect family he knows his brain would still rattle with _mine, mine mine_. 

But there is always the Supreme Leader and that means there is never truly a choice. The best of the worst is all that he can hope for and as he pauses in his pacing and places a large hand over his growing belly he can only hope that is enough.


End file.
